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Health & Fitness

Dog vs. Man

At Hatboro Mike's house, it's Zoe the Bichon Frise in a landslide.

An actual conversation one morning last week ...

"Honey, where's that piece of steak I was saving for lunch?"

"It's in the fridge. Look behind the yogurt."

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"Yeah ... OK ... But where's the REST of it?"

"I gave it to the dog. I ran out of chicken."

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Uh huh ...  

So this is what it has come to. My position on the family food chain is now somewhere below dog, but higher than the spider I was forced to assassinate one recent evening to the non-stop scream of, "bug, bug!!" 

Of course "higher than ... spider" is just an assumption on my part.

There are rules of nature that suggest the higher species - those that are stronger, smarter and more adaptable - get first crack at prized resources and eat first at the kill. Unfortunately for some of us, those rules are suspended in the dog-human relationship.

Actually that's a misstatement in my case. As this incident illustrates, this man is the third wheel in the dog-woman relationship. 

Personally, I like dogs. And I do love, Zoe, our Bichon Frise. And for the most part, it doesn't bother me that she is spoiled more than a Kardashian. But, there should be a basic respect for the pecking order of species. 

I am bigger and stronger; and damn it, I can - on most days - complete a 16-square sudoku in The Washington Post. So that highly prized New York strip steak I was hoarding for myself should remain mine. I shouldn't have to stand over the kill bearing fangs like a starving lion fending off a circling hyena ... especially a fluffy white specimen that looks like a candidate for Best of Show.

Guess I'll just have to adapt.

For more from Hatboro Mike including another example of man's subservience to his "best friend" (See the post Dog vs. Man) at www.crankymanslawn.com.

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