Wizard of Seeds?

I’d written a little about nasturtiums before, but only scratched the surface of my lack of skill growing them from seed. Here, as Paul Harvey used to say, is the rest of the story.

Years ago, Matt and I owned and operated a restaurant. As part of that business, we catered. Meat and cheese platters were always popular, but I always thought that the mounds of parsley most delis use for decorating the platters were excessive. It made me feel like grabbing a lawn mower or a pair of clippers. I went in search of other ways to dress them up and stumbled upon a humble flower called the nasturtium.

Nasturtiums are colorful annuals, whose flowers and leaves are edible. It’s actually a member of the watercress family. They have a peppery taste and the leaves are often used as greens in salad.

The problem with buying them for use in food preparation is that they’re often sprayed with pesticides. Confident that most people would bristle at the thought of having pesticide-laden produce dressing up their otherwise non-toxic food, I knew I’d have to grow them myself.

The thing is, I fell in love with the graceful little flowers and soon, they were in every hanging basket and flower box around my house. But, as with most of the flowers I fall in love with, I always wondered if they came in other, more unusual colors. And one day, an innocent spring time trip to Target for a new dress turned into a fateful turning point in my quest for unusual nasturtiums.

I’m not known for going into a store, buying what I want and leaving. It drives Matt crazy. I’m more of a grazer, wandering around admiring things that I don’t need, but find myself suddenly wanting. So, as I wandered amongst the rows of merchandise, I spotted a packet of seeds for a mixture of cream and mahogany colored nasturtiums called 'night and day.' Since I’ve had very little success growing any flower from seed, I was thrilled to see the words, 'easy to grow.' If I hadn’t been in a public place, I would have done my dance of joy.

Instead, I came home and planted a few seeds in between my petunias. And waited. I kept watch like a cat stalking birds, but no seedlings emerged. By July, I resigned myself to the fact that the unusual little flowers weren’t going to bloom.

The following year, I purchased another pack of seeds but I read the instructions on the back before planting them. The package insisted that the seeds would sprout, but to insure germination, advised me to soak them in warm water the night before planting, which I did. Again, nothing happened.

I bought another packet that counseled me to use a nail file to insure sprouting. Since nothing else had worked, I filed away and found out too late that filing them until they’re reduced to half their size kills them.

If you’ve ever heard me say that nothing is idiot proof to a sufficiently talented idiot I was talking about myself. I’ve also heard that the definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. Being both an idiot and crazy (or a crazed idiot), I gave it another try. I turned to the World Wide Web for help, because as you may know, that always turns out well for me (she says sarcastically).

I went on a gardening Web site, hoping to find another dummy that couldn’t grow them from seed; misery loves company. More than that, I was looking for someone who could tell me what I was doing wrong. And that’s when ‘GrannyGreenThumbFromGeorgia’ asked me a simple question – did I know the difference between a nasturtium seedling and a weed?

Turns out, I don’t.

For some reason the phrase, ‘don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater’ was ringing in my ears.

In one last attempt to grow night and day nasturtiums, I fashioned a home made greenhouse using a plastic platter with a clear lid - leftover from my catering days. I bought peat pots, filled them with special seed starting soil, watered and waited.

One morning, I awoke to one of the windiest days ever. I’m talking Kansas style, lift your house up from the foundation, carry you off and drop you in Oz type of wind. And my very lightweight greenhouse was playing the part of Dorothy. There were peat pots, dirt, seeds, and pieces of plastic flying everywhere. I ran out to try to salvage something but was quickly blinded by a hail of extra fine, specially treated dirt. I had to watch helplessly as my deck continued its homage to Kansas.

The next day, which, ironically, was windless and hot, I went about cleaning up the mess. I managed to get dirt out of the cushions, the wicker table, hurricane lamps, wind chimes, and even the pillows on the hammock. Matt came out to help, turning on the ceiling fan for a breeze. As dirt rained over us, we realized I’d missed a spot.

I’ve finally thrown in the towel. My quest for night and day nasturtiums has been abandoned. For some reason, though, my family doesn’t believe me, probably because they know me. But there’s another reason. I came across an unusual poppy that I’ve just got to grow. The downside is, you have to grow them from seed. But they, too, claim that they’re easy. Bonus, they grew wild in Kansas!

I’m off to see the Wizard – of seeds.

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